i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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