guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I party with great urgency now.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
