I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
