they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
