Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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