PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
