I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
