I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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