the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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