So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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