i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Randomize
