I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
