So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
