why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
