Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
