We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
