You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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