i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
