Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
