You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We left the knife in your bed.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize