i was born a porn star she said
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
