So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
