waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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