bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
