this beer tastes like vomit already
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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