I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize