all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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