i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
