He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
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