dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
This house was built for laser tag.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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