If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
