just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
