Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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