dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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