We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
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