ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize