You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
