what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
