Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize