She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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