it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Please don't give away my fajitas
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
