So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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