Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
