My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
