So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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