The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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