i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
