that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
