My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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