i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Randomize
