Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
