I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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