Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
