he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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