I want to have your abortion
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
