he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
no you cant smoke seaweed
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
