i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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