Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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