I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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