i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
