but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
