I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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