i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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