so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
