the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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