He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
