I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
it's like iHOP with fire
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
