we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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