I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
